The 10% rule
10% of the students will consume 90% of your time.
Discipline & Education
This article is envisioned to provide a distinctive look at discipline through a comparison and examination of discipline from two viewpoints: the traditional, old-fashioned strict obedience model that stresses intimidation, humiliation, or embarrassment versus a value-based model that stresses student’s responsibility and values.
The article is based on the viewpoints of the authors of two books.
Discipline with Dignity: How to Build Responsibility, Relationships, and Respect in Your Classroom by Richard Curwin and Allen Mendler.
Reclaiming Youth at Risk: Our Hope for the Future By Larry Brendtro, Martin Brokenleg, Steve Van Bocken.
First, an examination of the origin of the words discipline and educate.
The word discipline derives from the Latin word Latin disciplina - instruction, knowledge, and from Latin discipulus-learner. Also noted in dictionaries is its derivative from Old English discere - learn.
It is interesting that the definition mentions the word “instruction.” Consequently, since instruction is synonymous with education, it is informative to ask what does the word “educate” mean.
The root of educate is from Latin, ducere, meaning to draw or lead. The prefix "e" means "out of." Also noted in some dictionaries is the late Middle English from Latin educat- led out, and from the verb educare, related to educere meaning lead out.
Looking at it this way, education should take on a new meaning; education does not mean only the acquisition of knowledge, but it is the development of attitudes and skills, drawing out the potential and the gifts of the student, and to bring forth as well as bring up.
Accordingly, educators and adults should keep in mind that discipline is best understood as a teaching process rather than a process of intimidation, humiliation, or embarrassment.
Before we start, things to think about:
All interventions can stop misbehavior for a short time, but more importunately is how the intervention affects behavior and learning over time.
Reframe student’s behavior in a way that allows you to be a teacher rather than an authoritarian or strict disciplinarian. Think in terms of allowing students to open doors, not close them.
Think of discipline less as a type of obedience, punishment and reward, but more as a system based on responsibility and values.
Students need dignity and control, and one gives students control by giving them choices and helping them set limits.
Never use something you want a child to love as a consequence.
Treat a child as if he or she were your child … because every child is your child.
When you take something away, give something back.
Discipline with Dignity
Discipline with Dignity is a flexible program for effective school and classroom management that teaches responsible thinking, cooperation, mutual respect, and shared decision-making developed by Richard Curwin and Allen Mendler, and Brian Mendler, internationally acclaimed authors.
Discipline with Dignity: How to Build Responsibility, Relationships, and Respect in Your Classroom by Richard Curwin, Allen Mendler, and Brian Mendler.
Comparing Two Types of Discipline Systems: Obedience vs. Responsibility
Obedience Responsibility
Based on rewards and punishments Based on values; learning right from wrong
Focuses on deterrents Focuses on instruction
Works best with students who don’t need it Helps all student
Appropriate for safety Appropriate for all situations
Works fast, doesn’t last Takes longer, lasts longer
Obedience teaches children not to get caught. Students do not function well on rules. You can’t sell them rules but you can sell them values. Values work because they make a student a part of the bigger picture, the family, the school, the community.
Responsibility sets clear limits and rules. Give control by setting limits and providing the student choices in discipline situations. Establish consequences. Students crave dignity and control.
Student Choices: Always give students a choice in a discipline situation. Let students pick strategies to help improve behavior. Students must be taught to make good choices in school or they will fail. Students learn better when they learn about learning.
Punishment: Like adults, young people do not like to assume responsibility for failure and weakness. They rationalize, deny, project, or excuse. Anything to avoid the uncomfortable feeling that comes from knowing one has been wrong.
Typical Ineffective Methods of Discipline: Scolding, Lecturing, Taking away unrelated privileges, Sending to office, Public apologies, Sarcasm, Writing name on board, Serving time after school, Spanking.
Basic Principles: Dealing with student behavior is part of the job. Believe in long-term behavioral change, not quick fixes. Rules must make sense to the student. Be a model of what you expect. Always teat students with dignity. Responsibility is more important than obedience. Stop doing ineffective things. You can be fair without always having to treat every student the same.
Discussion of Fair vs. Equal: Fair doesn’t mean everyone gets the same, which is equal. Fairness means everyone gets what he or she needs. Example: a person gets a heart attack in front of him as he is lecturing. He ignores the person and continues his lecture because he must be fair to the remaining 349 people in the audience. There is nothing so unequal as the equal treatment of unequals.
Discipline Guidelines: When you take something away, give something back. Never use something you want a child to love as a consequence. Eventually you must face a student who misbehaves; no one can do it for you. When disciplining students, always provide choices and limits. No one can change his or her behavior without a commitment.
Criteria of Effective Discipline: Does it elicit dignity or humiliation? Is it the obedience method or does it develop responsibility? How does the method affect motivation? Does the method lead to student commitment? Does it work?
Demanding respect: You can’t demand respect, you must earn respect. Respect begets respect. Obedience can be demanded from a weaker individual, but one can never demand respect. In most cases, adults expect to be treated with more respect than they demonstrate.
Emotions/Feelings vs. Behavior: Put limits on behavior, not on feelings. It is far easier to control behavior than it is to control feelings. When we ask a student not to be angry/upset/excited, we are asking the student to bury his/her feelings. Instead of saying, “don’t be angry,” say, “when we are angry, we have other choices beside fighting. Fighting is not allowed.”
Behavior equals Consequences: Teach students that they are products of their choices. Consequences flow directly from their behavior and have a strong and direct connection. We are the products of our choices. We are the authors of our lives.
Good Rules are based on principle, Clear, Specific, Behavioral, Enforceable, Stated positively, Succinct, and Parsimonious.
Good Consequences are Clear, Specific, Have a range of alternatives, Not a punishment, Related to the rules, Natural, and Logical.
Avoid Power Struggles: Neither the student nor the teacher will win: Power struggles get worse if escalated. As the stakes get higher, it becomes more and more impossible for either party to feel like a winner regardless of how the original issues turn out. Because the game no longer includes the original issue, it is now based on dignity. When the issue at stake is dignity for either the educators or the student, it is impossible for either side to back down. As each side tries to win, they dig in deeper and fight harder, use more weapons and will escalate the struggle.
Controlling anger: When an educator shows anger, the student has won the battle and is now in control because you are out of control. Expressing genuine anger shows you are human, but a chronically angry teacher is not effective.
Goals for Defusing Power Struggles: Do not think in terms of winning and losing. You and your students are both on the same team. Dignity for the student and dignity for the educator. Keeping the student in class. Teaching an alternative to aggression.
Methods for Defusing Power Struggles: Listening, Acknowledging, Agreeing, and Deferring.
Use Active Listening to Diffuse a Power Struggle: Active listening is a technique that can be used to diffuse the power struggle. When a teacher uses active listening, he neither agrees nor disagrees with the student, but rather acknowledges the student’s remarks by paraphrasing it without judging it.
Agree to Speak with the Student Later: Usually both parties are hot (full of emotion) and it is very difficult to reach any sort of resolution. After using active listening, set up a time to speak with the student later.
Relationships: Relationships work best. Why? You never want to disappoint your mother! Teach the student to follow the rules and do what is right because it is the correct thing to do.
9 Things to Say When Confronted: When did you start (feeling, thinking, believing) that? Tell me after class.
- Have you always (thought, wondered, felt) that way? Your thoughts are important to me.
- There’s probably some truth to what you are saying. Right now you are very upset and angry.
- I don’t see it that way. My view is … but tell me more about what’s on your mind.
- That’s an interesting opinion. You might be right.
- I’m glad you trust me enough to tell me how you feel. I’m concerned.
- You must be feeling very angry to say that to me in front of everyone. Let’s talk later and see how we can solve this problem.
- Let’s talk later. I want to hear your side of the story.
- (Name), that was funny, but I’m sure you meant it as a put down. Is that what you meant?
- When did you start (feeling, thinking, believing) that? Tell me after class.
When Confronted, Use the 7 Cs: Compliment, Concern, Congratulate, Compromise, Choices, Challenge, Confidence.
In times of stress, think SODA! Analyze the Situation. What are the Options? What are the Disadvantages? What are the Advantages?
A Few Discipline Ideas to Think About: Anyone who makes you angry has control over you. Avoid power struggles. The Energy you give out is the Energy you get back. “Do unto students as you want students to do unto you.”
Finally, Important Things to Reflect Upon: Treat a child as if he or she were your child … because every child is your child. Never underestimate the power of trustworthiness. Common sense is not common. Take a professional stance. Do not interpret student behavior personally. Don’t be an educator that seeks a “pint of blood.”
And above all, communication is better than force.
“If you succeed in gaining their love, your influence will be greater in some respects than that of parents themselves. You have the power to make them kind, benevolent, and humane, or, by your neglect, they may become the reverse of everything that is lovely, amiable, and generous.”
Samuel Hall who wrote the first book published for teachers in the United States in 1892
Reclaiming Youth at Risk: Our Hope for the Future By Larry Brendtro, Martin Brokenleg, Steve Van Bocken
Disciple should lead to self-discipline and/or self-control
The fear of failure is stronger than the motivation to achieve. Youth who have learned to expect failure seek to escape further shame and embarrassment by working very hard at avoiding work. They have learned that failure is never as bitter as if one does not try.
The competent child will expect success but learn to surmount adversity. This is the core of resilience.
The purpose of any external discipline is to build internal discipline.
Adults strive for control, battling youths who are striving for autonomy.
Adult control becomes self-perpetuating, the more one controls, the more one needs to control.
Rules are to values as obedience is to respect.
When young people are surrounded by walls, they make wall climbing a sport.
Fostering self-esteem is the primary goal in socializing all children.
Important to accept the child even while rejecting the behavior.
One must look past the fault to find the “germ of virtue.” When stubbornness can be recast as persistence, then a liability can become an asset.